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The British-English colloquial noun horlicks (also with capital initial) designates a mess, i.e., a disordered or spoiled state of affairs. This noun frequently occurs in the phrase to make a horlicks of (something) and variants.
—Note: This figurative use is both dated and infrequent.
The reference is to Horlick, used in the possessive as the trade-name of a malted milk-powder which was first manufactured in 1883 by the British-born U.S. industrialist William Horlick (1846-1936).
The following, for example, is from Steaming Horlicks fed up with slang use of its name, by Nigel Reynolds, Arts Correspondent, published in The Daily Telegraph (London, England) of Monday 18th October 2004 [page 3, columns 1 & 2]:
Spin doctors have been employed to sell everything from Marilyn Monroe’s legs to governments. But seldom have they been paid to change the English language.
Horlicks, the night-time malt drink firm, disclosed yesterday that it was so sick of the brand being invoked irreverently—as in phrases such as “What a Horlicks!” or “it’s a complete Horlicks”—that it has taken on one of London’s leading public relations firms to dissuade us from the habit.
[…]
GlaxoSmithKline, the owner of the 130-year-old brand, said yesterday that such slang usage had “negative connotations” for its product.
The reason the noun horlicks came to designate a mess is unknown. The question has been much debated, and the least implausible explanation is that horlicks is a euphemism for some crude word—cf., below, quotation 5, which seems to imply that horlicks is substituted for ballocks, a variant form of bollocks.
The Oxford English Dictionary (online edition, December 2024, s.v. Horlick, n.) states that the use of the noun horlicks in the sense of a mess was “originally largely associated with upper- and middle-class speakers”. But this is not corroborated by the earliest occurrences of the phrase to make a horlicks of (something) that I have found: half of them are from sports reports, and very few are “associated with upper- and middle-class speakers”.
These are, in chronological order, the earliest occurrences of the phrase to make a horlicks of (something) that I have found:
1-: From Housewife’s Diary, by Catherine Black, published in the News Letter (Belfast, County Antrim, Northern Ireland) of Friday 13th March 1970 [page 4, column 8]:
When I went to business at first, formality was the rule. It was hat and gloves and Miss This and Mr. That, lounge suits only for boys during the week and sports clothes only on Saturday. […]
On my return to business after many years, what a difference I found. […]
[…]
The third thing I noticed was that […] everyone swore. The word “bloody” came into phone conversations, letters, everything. Inter-office memos which I had remembered as “Regret our error. Can you effect amendment” had become “We’ve made a helluva horlicks. Can you fix?”
2-: From an account of the Isle of Man Volkswagen Owners’ and Drivers’ Club first autocross meeting, that took place at Grenaby Farm, Bride, on Sunday 22nd November 1970—account published in the Isle of Man Weekly Times (Douglas, Isle of Man) of Thursday 26th November 1970 [page 2, column 2]—F.T.D. stands for Fastest Time of the Day:
The battle resolved itself around Baird, Leece and Wasley, but although Baird set F.T.D. he made a complete “Horlicks” on the second run. Despite being clocked at 3 mins. 14 secs., he stalled on the start line and then broke a headlight and collected a five second penalty for hitting a marker.
3-: From an account of the second round of the 1971 Manx rally championship, that took place on Saturday 13th February 1971—account by Doug Baird, published in the Isle of Man Weekly Times (Douglas, Isle of Man) of Thursday 18th February 1971 [page 12, column 2]:
The first two crews on the road, Edward Christian/Boy Walker (1600 Ford Escort G.T.) and Doug Baird/Bernie Sayle, made a “horlicks” when they collected fails for traversing the Dog Kennels while in the wrong direction and missing out Begoade altogether.
4-: From an account of Manx Auto Sports’ Easter Sunday autotests, that took place on Sunday 11th April 1971—account by Doug Baird, published in the Isle of Man Weekly Times (Douglas, Isle of Man) of Thursday 15th April 1971 [page 8, column 2]:
In the conventional saloon car class (front engine rear-wheel drive) there was no such drama as Edward Christian (1600 Ford Escort G.T.) led from start to finish, who at first was hotly challenged by Ken Blackburn in the same car, but with Blackburn making a “horlicks” on test four the challenge was taken up by John Huyton (Lotus Cortina).
5-: From World of Wonders (New York: The Viking Press, 1976), by the Canadian author Robertson Davies (1913-1995) [chapter 2, page 231]—this novel was first published by Macmillan of Canada in 1975:
As usual, Audrey Sevenhowes had a comment. “Nobody to blame but herself,” said she; “made a Horlicks—an utter Horlicks—of her part. I could have shown them, but—” Her shrug showed what she thought of the management’s taste. “Horlicks” was a word she used a lot; it suggested “ballocks” but avoided a direct indecency. Charlton and Woulds loved to hear her say it; it seemed delightfully daring, and sexy, and knowing.
6-: From an account of a football match between Chelsea and Charlton, that took place at Stamford Bridge, the home of Chelsea Football Club, on Saturday 27th December 1975—account by Paul Dosson, published in the Fulham Chronicle (London, England) of Friday 2nd January 1976 [page 31, column 3]—Dempsey and Bonetti played for Chelsea (the latter being the goalkeeper), and Hales for Charlton:
The lowly visitors made it 2—0: Dempsey made a horlicks of controlling the ball and Hales tucked it past Bonetti.
7-: From a review of Ready When You Are, Mr. McGill, a teleplay written by Jack Rosenthal, and produced by ITV—review by Keith Baker, published in the Belfast Telegraph (Belfast, County Antrim, Northern Ireland) of Saturday 17th January 1976 [page 7, column 7]:
Mr. McGill was one of the legion of extras who populate television drama but this was his big moment—a speaking part, all 17 words of it.
Needless to say, he does not get it right. […]
[…]
[…] Mr. McGill, an embarrassingly well-meant and dignified little man among a collection of highly-paid psychotics, was depending on his 17 words. “Joe McGill is a member of the Royal Shakespeare Company,” he imagined the credits reading.
In the end, he and his wife were planning to visit relatives to watch his performance in colour. Meanwhile, the director was planning to cut it out.
We do not like to make a complete horlicks of our big break in life.
8-: From an account of the Rugby-Union match between Northampton Rugby Club and Leicester Tigers, that took place at Franklin’s Gardens, Northampton, on Saturday 15th October 1977—account by David Hands, published in the Leicester Mercury (Leicester, Leicestershire, England) of Monday 17th October 1977 [page 29, column 2]—Barnwell and Money played for Leicester, and Parker for Northampton:
The aura of respectability about the scoreline vanished when Barnwell and Money contrived to make a horlicks of their handling, and Parker seized on the chance to go over for a try improved by Carter.
9-: From an interview of Janie Cadbury, the wife of Peter Cadbury, Chairman of Westward Television—interview by Frankie McGowan, published in the Evening News (London, England) of Friday 1st August 1980 [page 6, column 4]:
—Context: John Harris, Baron Harris of Greenwich, board member of Westward Television, had attempted to oust Peter Cadbury as Chairman:
“He [i.e., Peter Cadbury] just got quietly on with winning back his position when Lord Harris made such a Horlicks of his attempt to throw him out.”
10-: From the column Now and Again, by R. O. Harrison, published in the Huddersfield Daily Examiner (Huddersfield, Yorkshire, England) of Wednesday 20th August 1980 [page 4, column 6]:
Incidentally, while we’re on the subject of phrases, I read an interview with Princess Anne in “The Observer” last week in which she referred to “making a Horlicks” of something.
From the context it did not seem that she was discussing night starvation, so what on earth did she mean?
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