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The British-English and Irish-English phrase coats for goalposts, also jumpers for goalposts and coats and jumpers for goalposts, and variants, refer to the type of informal football played by young people in parks, streets and other public spaces, in which ad-hoc items—typically coats or/and jumpers belonging to the players—are used as improvised goalposts.
The phrase jumpers or coats for goalposts occurs, for example, in the following from the Southport Visiter (Southport, Lancashire, England) of Friday 15th May 1992 [page 76, column 5]:
Five-a-side competition for girls as well as boys
The spirit of good, old-fashioned street football returns to Sefton on June 20 and 21, when over 70 junior five-a-side teams will battle it out at Duke Street Park, Formby, for charity […].
Long gone are the days when every street corner was turned into a mini stadium, with jumpers or coats for goalposts and tennis balls used as footballs.
The phrase jumpers for goalposts notably occurred in The Fast Show, a BBC comedy sketch show that ran from 1994 to 1997.—The following, about Ron Manager, a character interpreted by the Welsh actor Paul Whitehouse (born 1958), is from The Fast Show: Characters: Ron Manager, published by the BBC:
“It’s a far cry from small boys in the park, jumpers for goalposts. Isn’t it? Mmmmm. Marvellous.”
Nonsense-spouting pundit Ron Manager, has spent all three series in misty-eyed reveries about the good old days of football.
Watched in dour disbelief by his Scots counterpart, Tommy Stein, he can wax lyrical on pretty much anything but the game in hand.
1-: Early occurrences of the phrase coats for goalposts:
These are, in chronological order, the earliest occurrences of the phrase coats for goalposts and variants that I have found:
1.1-: From Athletic Notes, published in The Watford Observer (Hertfordshire, England) of Saturday 7th November 1891 [page 6, column 6]:
The Watford little boy lives but for football. In addition to our clubs, which can now be numbered by the dozen, teams of two players and upwards may be seen at play any fine day between school hours on any piece of waste ground or unsold eligible freehold building site. Coats and caps form the goalposts.
1.2-: From Derby Borough Police Court. Monday 13th February 1893, published in The Derbyshire Advertiser and North Staffordshire Journal (Derby, Derbyshire, England) of Friday 17th February 1893 [page 6, column 5]:
George Gratton and Owen Jourdain, two small boys, were charged with stealing an overcoat, valued at 15s., the property of Harry Shephard, aged 10, of Surrey-street, from the Little Chester Recreation Ground.—On Saturday afternoon Shephard was playing at football on the Recreation Ground, and placed his coat on the grass to serve as a goal-post. On finishing the game he went away and forgot his coat. In the evening Jourdain took the coat to the shop of Mr. Pickering, pawnbroker, Brook-street, and offered it in pledge. [&c.]
1.3-: From The Northern Echo (Darlington, County Durham, England) of Saturday 18th February 1893 [page 4, column 4]:
CLEVELAND FOOTBALL ASSOCIATION.
On Friday night a meeting of the council of the above association was held at the Athletic Institute, Middlesbrough, Mr Howcroft presiding.—Mr J. W. Nicholson asked for the Council’s decision on the following case. During an encampment of volunteers at Whitby in June some of their players were invited to the camp to indulge in a little healthy recreation. They kicked a football about the field, having coats for goalposts, no touch lines, and no referee or linesmen. He wished to know if those players had broken the close season rule. It was unanimously decided by the Council that under such circumstances the players had not broken the rule.
1.4-: From The Callander Advertiser and Visitors’ List (Callander, Perthshire, Scotland) of Saturday 1st August 1896 [page 4, column 7]:
The improvements on the Moray Park have now been completed some time, to the entire satisfaction of the young people in the community. They are especially appreciated by juvenile footballers, who can now dispense with the necessity of putting down coats and caps as goal-posts.
1.5-: From the East London Observer, and Tower Hamlets and Borough of Hackney Chronicle (London, England) of Saturday 7th August 1897 [page 6, column 3]:
Boy Life in the East End and how the Church Caters for Him.
The East End boy generally finishes his education at thirteen, when, having attained that desired end, he seeks employment of some kind or other to help the family exchequer. This goes on every day till about six p.m. except Saturday when he is free at one p.m. So his evenings are free, and his Saturday afternoons. He may do a great many things. He may go to night-school—most likely he does not. He can play leapfrog or “release” in the streets. When he has a little cash to spend there is the music-hall. On Saturdays he may play foot-ball, for nearly every street has its “Rovers” or “Swifts,” who meet under a lamppost to pick their team and club up for a ball and play where they can, often with heaps of coats for goal-posts.
2-: Early occurrences of the phrase jumpers for goalposts and coats and jumpers for goalposts:
These are, in chronological order, the earliest occurrences of the phrase jumpers for goalposts, also coats and jumpers for goalposts, and variants, that I have found:
2.1-: From Hopes fixed on Reds, published in the Alderley & Wilmslow and Knutsford Advertiser (Alderley Edge, Cheshire, England) of Thursday 10th June 1976 [page 8, column 3]—15-year-old Andrew Ritchie, of Cheadle, Cheshire, was aiming to play for Manchester United Football Club:
As soon as he could walk, Andrew Ritiche, of 42 Argyle Road, Cheadle, loved to kick a ball around, and at an early age it was obvious he was talented. He was a member of his primary school football team and each evening used to practise on the local fields.
Andrew said: “We used to put coats and jumpers down for goalposts. We used any ball we could get hold of, and played whatever the weather was like.”
2.2-: From an account of a meeting of Glastonbury Town Council’s General Purposes Committee, published in The Wells Journal Somerset and West of England Advertiser (Wells, Somerset, England) of Thursday 10th June 1976 [page 19, column 7]:
There were plenty of dead elm trees about and arrangements could be made locally to have them put in the right places.
[…]
Coun. Mrs. Brunt said that the boys who used the play area at Thorndun estate “would love goalposts” and a climbing frame made from tree trunks.
[…]
Coun. Tucker recalled that in his own youth piles of jumpers were used by young footballers as goalposts.
2.3-: From a portrait of John Turner, a Birmingham businessman, by Hugh Berlyn, published in the Sunday Mercury (Birmingham, Warwickshire, England) of Sunday 12th September 1976 [page 9, column 1]:
He served in Malaya fighting terrorism and then returned to his trade in Birmingham. After a while he discovered that he had a talent for football which surpassed the kicking of tin cans between the woollen jumper goalposts of his childhood and he was signed up by Aston Villa.
2.4-: From Jolly Jack stars, published in the Evening Argus (Brighton, Sussex, England) of Wednesday 11th February 1981 [page 9, column 6]—The Level is a park in central Brighton:
A five-a-side soccer team of Sussex sea cadets has sailed through to the national finals without conceding a goal.
[…]
The team of boys aged 14 and 15 have practised on The Level using jumpers as goalposts.
2.5-: From Yesterdays News, published in The Sligo Champion (Sligo, County Sligo, Ireland) of Friday 18th September 1981 [page 9, column 7]:
Playing football on the street is a time honoured tradition and no doubt if you are a motorist who frequents the roads of Sligo’s housing estates you will have come across the usual games under the street lights.
If memory serves me correctly, and speaking from experience there was also a time when the Gardai were dab hands at interrupting the game at the most critical moments to scare the living daylights out of you by threatening to take your name.
In 1961 no less than five defendants were fined at Sligo Court on charges of playing ball on Mail Coach Road.
The Garda witness stated that when he arrived there were boys playing with defendants but they scattered bringing their jumpers (the goalposts) with them.
One of the defendants told the Justice that they had always played on the street. Their fathers encouraged them and on Sunday mornings would sometimes join in. They had never broken anything and felt safe enough.
The Justice remarked that he would like to meet some of their footballing fathers!
2.6-: From Miracle needed, by Niall Scully, published in the Evening Herald (Dublin, County Dublin, Ireland) of Thursday 29th March 1984 [page 38, column 1]:
It has long been recognised as one of the strongest forts of schoolboy football. Surrounded by green railings in the suburb of Crumlin, Sundrive Park has been the starting location for many a soccer career.
Even in the summer you can see matches there in abundance. Boys and men playing in their civvies on the long evenings and using jumpers as the goalposts.
2.7-: From a portrait of the Northern-Irish football player Eamon McLaughlin, by Jimmy Cadden, published in The Sentinel (Derry, County Derry, Northern Ireland) of Wednesday 27th February 1985 [page 30, column 3]:
The young McLaughlin played all his soccer in the large field which adjourned his home. His introduction was with an often half-deflated ball and coats and jumpers serving as goalposts.
