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With humorous euphemistic transposition of the initial letters of the nouns composing the phrase hell of a mess, the colloquial phrase mell of a hess designates a complete mess.

—Cf. also the noun spoonerism, and the phrases (as) tight as a rivet, no wucking furries and the thick plottens.

Originally and chiefly American English, the phrase mell of a hess has occasionally been used in British English. The following, for example, with pun on the surname Hess, is from the column Greenock’s Funny Side: Simple Simon Says, published in the Greenock Telegraph and Clyde Shipping Gazette (Greenock, Renfrewshire, Scotland) of Saturday 17^th May 1941 [page 2, column 5]:

Although we are noted for our simplicity, we are not going to fall into the trap of trying to guess why Herr Rudolf Hess ¹ parachuted his Nazi carcase down in Scotland. Twelve of our friends have already explained the whole business to us. The trouble is that we now have twelve different explanations.
Which gets us into thinking that the aptest Spoonerism we have ever heard was perpetrated this morning by Bernard (our Super-Talking Budgie). “Eeeerk,” he remarked, “ain’t it a mell of a Hess!”
For ourselves, we have no intention of getting Hessterical on the subject. So, beyond saying that Hesstory is being made, we will remain silent (thank goodness).

¹ In May 1941, the German National-Socialist dignitary Rudolf Hess (1894-1987) secretly flew to Scotland hoping to negotiate a peace between Britain and Germany; he was immediately arrested and imprisoned.

These are, in chronological order, the earliest of the phrase mell of a hess that I have found:

1-: From a letter from one Dr. Chris Mengis, who was “enjoying some fine hunting at Bocas Del Toro, Panama”, published in the Vicksburg American (Vicksburg, Mississippi, USA) of Saturday 14^th July 1906 [page 1, column 5]:

Went up a river in a canoe with three Indians […]. We shot around big rocks that looked as big as a house and went over falls and shot rapids while the Indian steering sat in the stern like a graven image. If his paddle had broken or slipped we would have been in a mell of a hess.

2-: From The Clifton Record (Clifton, Texas, USA) of Friday 9^th August 1907 [page 2, column 2]:

I notice that a good many people are complaining about the Thirtieth Legislature. I think it did remarkably well. When you send men to the Legislature whose feet are larger than their heads, you need not be surprised if you make a mell of a hess of it. I’m glad they did not repeal the Constitution and make it a penitentiary offense to drink soup with a spoon. However, had they done so, I would not have been at all surprised.—K. Lamity’s Harpoon ².

² Founded and edited by the Texan journalist, satirist and publisher John Sturgis Bonner (1856-1935 – also known as K. Lamity), K. Lamity’s Harpoon was a nationally-circulated magazine published in Texas (variously in Tyler, Austin and San Antonio).—Main source: Milam County Texas Archives.

3-: From the Fort Towson Enterprise (Fort Towson, Oklahoma, USA) of Friday 25^th September 1908 [page 4, column 1]:

National politics seem to be getting in a mell-of-a-hess.

4-: From Deportation of the Southern Negro, published in The Issue (Jackson, Mississippi, USA) of Saturday 22^nd May 1909 [page 12, column 2]—reprinted from K. Lamity’s Harpoon:

It [i.e., Liberia] was founded in 1820 by what was known as the American Colonization Company—a gang of mental misfits who decided that as nearly all free negroes in the United States were not allowed the privilege of voting and showing the white man how to run this government, they ought to have a showing. So Liberia was founded for that purpose, and in July, 1847, it was declared an independent state, and the machinery of government from that time to this has been strictly under the control and manipulation of the Booker Washingtons ³, of Liberia. They have made a mell of a hess of it.

³ This is an allusion to Booker Taliaferro Washington (1856-1915), U.S. educator, author and African-American civil rights leader.

5-: From a letter to the Editor, by ‘Jonce’, published in The Southern Democrat (Oneonta, Alabama, USA) of Thursday 19^th May 1910 [page 5, column 2]:

I thought about writing on the constitutional amendment during its great struggles, but they got that all stired [sic] up in such a “mell of a hess” that it got me so bewildered that I did not have as much sense as a monkey wrench. The amendment people would come around and tell us that a white badge represented purity and righteousness of saints, which made me believe that they were so upright that they could level the foundation of success without a spirit level or plumb the walls of Jerico without a plumb bob!

6-: From Mere Men Not Artistic Enough to Enjoy Sleeping on Daintily Draped Couch, by Dolly Dalrymple, published in The Birmingham Age-Herald (Birmingham, Alabama, USA) of Thursday 26^th May 1910 [page 7, column 1]:

“The home […] looks like it might be the most comfortable and delightful place on earth to spend the summer.”
“That’s usually a woman’s idea in furnishing a house,” I quickly averred. “Comfort above all things.”
“This case has reversed the ordinary routine of things,” replied the Mere Man with great feeling, “and has sacrificed comfort for artistic effect, and the result—is—well, the words I’d like to use are not repeated in polite society, so I’ll just say it is a “mell-of-a-hess,” which may convey to you some idea of what is in mind.”