The colloquial British-English phrase not on your nelly is used to mean that there is no chance at all of something happening.
This phrase is shortened from not on your Nelly Duff, which is based on the phrase not on your life—Nelly Duff being rhyming slang for the noun puff as used colloquially in the sense of life.
The texts containing the earliest occurrences that I have found of not on your Nelly (Duff) seem to indicate that this phrase:
– originated in the slang of the Royal Air Force during the Second World War;
– was popularised in the early 1950s by the English comedian Frankie Howerd (Francis Alick Howard – 1917-1992).
The earliest occurrence of the phrase not on your Nelly Duff that I have found is from War Slang, published in The Nepean Times (Penrith, New South Wales, Australia) of Thursday 16th April 1942 [Vol. 60, No. 4,024, page 4, column 5]—reprinted from The New Statesman and Nation (London, England):
Glamour Boys—R.A.F., especially flying crews.
Snuff Box—Gas mask.
Vackie—Evacuee.
Not on your Nelly Duff—Not likely.
To Pee-Hee—To ingratiate yourself with superiors.
Mona and Clara—Alert and All-clear.
Mousetrap—Indoor shelter, table type.
Love Truck—Small covered-in lorry.
Pneumonia Wagon—Open lorry without doors or hood.
Bull—Discipline.
Bint—Girl friend.
Pelican—Non-flying officer with wings.
Armadillo—Armoured lorry.
Guinea Pig—Evacuated civil servent [sic].
Confetti—Ammunition.
Chatter Box—Machine-gun.
Roller Skates—Tanks.
Go for a Burton—Crash.
Lavatories—Italian indiscriminate bombers (who “pull the chain” without looking).
The earliest occurrences of the phrase not on your nelly that I have found are as follows, in chronological order:
1-: From The Lancashire Daily Post (Preston, Lancashire, England) of Friday 1st May 1942 [No. 17,231, page 2, column 6]:
Way of the North-West
MODERN SLANG IN THE AIR FORCE
By NORTH-WESTERNERWITHOUT endorsing this foul deed, I record it as a contribution to modern slang. It is supposed to have been sent by “A. C. Plonk” to his “bint” from a town in the North-West:—
“It’s O.K. by me here. Lots of Gossages. No guinea pigs. No vackies. We don’t hear Mona and Clara much now, nor see much flak. I thought I was going to stop a rocket the other day when I didn’t notice a one pipper—a pelican, too. Did I stop? Not on your Nellie! Am I a sprog? Shot round helter-skelter, dodged pneumonia waggon and climbed into love truck. Only a swaddie with gongs on at a school door, with winkle pin and snuff box, and a clippie saw me and they kept mum. So what?—Tom.”
A Glossary
Here is a glossary which way help you to know what it is all about.
Bint is a girl friend.
A. C. Plonk.—The lowest rank in the R.A.F., an aircraftman of the second class.
Gossages (sausages).—Balloons
Guinea pigs.—Evacuated Civil Servants; vackies, evacuees.
Mona and Clara.—The alert and raiders passed signals.
Flak.—Anti-aircraft fire; stop a rocket, to receive a reprimand.
One pipper.—A subaltern.
A pelican.—A non-flying officer.
Not on your Nellie.—Not likely.
Sprog.—A tyro; helter-skelter, a shelter; pneumonia waggon, an open truck; love truck, a covered waggon; swaddie, a soldier; gongs, medals; winkle pin, bayonet; snuff box, respirator; clippie, a conductress.
2-: From the caption to the following photograph, published in The Sunday Post (Glasgow, Lanarkshire, Scotland) of Sunday 28th July 1946 [No. 2,135, page 3, column 2]:
Embarrassing for this young couple caught kissing in Victoria Park, Glasgow? “Nut [sic] on your nelly!” as Glaswegians would say. Fact is when the couple really kissed, the cineman cried “Hold it!” “Sunday Post” snap of a scene from the documentary, “Someone Wasn’t Listening,” which Scottish National Studios (director, Mr Joseph MacLeod) are shooting in Glasgow.
3-: From Annie, Pat, Mrs Mac,—and Me!, by “a “Sunday Post” Woman Reporter”, published in The Sunday Post (Glasgow, Lanarkshire, Scotland) of Sunday 3rd November 1946 [No. 2,149, page 3, column 2]:
Annie, Pat, and Mrs Mac had just finished their last shift as porter-guards before retiring to make way for ex- Servicemen.
From all they told me, it is apparent there’s more in the job than blowing a whistle and waving a flag!
“An easy job!” said Pat. “Nutt [sic] on your nelly! Think what you get in the van sometimes—chickens, goats, coffins, papers, mail and fruit, all mixed up—no’ to mention a few prams!
“But we’d bags o’ laughs, hadn’t we?”
4-: From The Bucks Herald (Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire, England) of Friday 31st October 1952 [No. 6,294, page 4, column 2]:
COUNTY PROBATION OFFICER CRITICISES THE PRESS
JUVENILE CRIME: IS THE PROBLEM WORSENED BY PRESS REPORTS?
By PHIL FOUNTAINTHE plaintive radio catchline, “You’re being got at,” is becoming increasingly applicable to newspapers in this country. Certain men in the public eye seem to take a great delight in criticising the Press. But the latest knock to reach my ears was from Mr. J. W. Marshall, principal probation officer for Bucks. Here is what he told a meeting last week: “Juvenile delinquency is still a serious problem, although, in my opinion, it is very much over publicised. The Press are concerned with their publication, and sales depend upon the reading public. They are not concerned whether the publication of certain details will delay or even permanently avoid a person becoming a normal law-abiding citizen.”
The obvious thing to do after making a statement like that, would be to quote chapter and verse and give a few anonymous examples of a newspaper report preventing a boy, girl, man or woman becoming a law abiding citizen.
But, to quote another radio show “Not on your Nellie!” No examples were given.
5-: From a letter to the Editor, in reply to Harmar Nicholl’s review of 1952, which had been published in the Peterborough Standard the previous week—letter published in the Peterborough Standard (Peterborough, Cambridgeshire, England) of Friday 2nd January 1953 [No. 4,187, page 10, column 5]:
When Mr. Nicholls says “A great record of positive achievement” my answer is in the words of a well-known B.B.C. comedian, “Not on your Nellie.”
6-: From an interview by Peter Thomas of Doug Young, of Walthamstow Avenue Football Club, published in the Daily Mirror (London, England) of Wednesday 21st January 1953 [No. 15,299, page 13, column 5]:
Suddenly Doug’s high laughter broke out. Will Manchester United worry Doug and the boys? Not on your nelly.
7-: From Live Letters, published in the Daily Mirror (London, England) of Friday 6th February 1953 [No. 15,313, page 12, column 5]:
Now, Er . . . . . .
“CURIOUS” writes from Bethnal Green (London):
What does Frankie Howerd mean when he says “Not on your Nelly.” Please ask him for us.
Wot? Us? Not on your . . .
8-: From ‘Rancher’ Williams simply couldn’t give up football, about the English goalkeeper Bert Williams (1920-2014), published in the Sports Argus (Birmingham, Warwickshire, England) of Saturday 25th July 1953 [No. 2,553, page 4, column 7]:
It was feared that Bert would give up the game altogether. Not on your Nelly, as a certain comedian would say. The Bradley man did think seriously of retiring […]. But the game simply would not let him quit just yet. He’s too fond of it.
9-: From the Broughty Ferry Guide and Carnoustie Gazette (Dundee, Angus, Scotland) of Saturday 31st October 1953 [No. 2,369, page 7, column 1]:
Ready to Burst with Laughter on Burnside Course
Ben Tells the Whole Story
(By our Golf Writer)Long aeons after 1953 is forgotten as the year of the Coronation, the year of the conquest of Everest, or the year of atom bomb explosions, it will still be talked of as the year that Ben Hogan won the Open at Carnoustie.
In this little island of Britain we have got round to accepting that Ben won our Open. To us it is just a very fine memory, and we file it alongside the wins of Bob Jones, Walter Hagen and Gene Sarazen. But in America—not on your nellie! Three months and more after it is all over it is still front-page news.
10-: From Jonah and the Great Big Fish, by Kenneth Robertson, published in the Kirkintilloch Herald (Kirkintilloch, Dunbartonshire, Scotland) of Wednesday 3rd February 1954 [page 3, column 4]:
Whaur Jonah wis he couldna’ tell
Tho’ conscious o’ a fishy smell.
He thocht ’twas risin’ oot a stank
Insteed o’ that great creature’s flank.
For did he ken? Not on your nelly
That he wis doon a fish’s belly.
For when he wis chucked ower the boat
An’ glidin’ doon that fish’s throat
He thocht himsel’ that he was plungin’
Stracht doon tae Hell’s daurk deepest dungeon.
11-: From the following advertisement (with a photograph of Frankie Howerd) for The Runaway Bus (1954), a British comedy film written, produced and directed by Val Guest, starring Frankie Howerd, Margaret Rutherford and Petula Clark—advertisement published in The Birmingham Mail (Birmingham, Warwickshire, England) of Monday 8th February 1954 [No. 27,418, page 8, column 2]:
Miss “The Runaway Bus”?
NOT ON YOUR NELLY!
12-: From a correspondence from London, England, by Johanna Duff, about the Queen’s visit to Australia, published in The Argus (Melbourne, Victoria, Australia) of Friday 5th March 1954 [No. 33,542, page 2, column 7]:
I asked a bus conductor if he thought the heat would be too much for the Queen.
“Not on your Nellie, she’s having the time of ’er life, if you was to arsk me. Wish me and the missus could go out there.”
13-: From the column South West Whispers, by ‘The Falcon’, published in the South Western Star (London, England) of Friday 5th March 1954 [No. 3,977, page 4, column 7]:
Frankie Howerd hoped to be present as [sic] Tuesday’s special film-show for crews from Clapham, Stockwell and Merton Garages. He could not make it and this is the message he sent to the guests:
“Sorry I can’t be with you. Prior engagement with Joan Gilbert. Do you blame me? Not on your Nellie.”
14-: From an article about reactions to the Government’s proposed Clean Food Bill, published in the Daily Herald (London, England) of Monday 5th April 1954 [No. 11,872, page 5, column 3]:
At an emergency meeting called yesterday in London by the National Caterers’ Federation, which represents more than 4,000 small restaurants and snack bars, there were cheers when the president, Mr. Charles Niblett, said: “Your livelihood is threatened.
“If these regulations are enforced, your life is going to be one round of Hell. Not on your Aunt Nellie are we going to stand for them.”
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