notes on ‘arsewipe’

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The slang noun arsewipe designates:
– (literally): anything used to wipe oneself clean after defecation; in later use chiefly toilet paper, or other paper used for this purpose;
– (figuratively): a foolish or contemptible person.

1-: Literal sense:

The Swiss lexicographer Guy Miege (1644-1718?) defined the noun arsewipe as follows in A New Dictionary French and English, With Another English and French; According to the Present Use, and Modern Orthography of the French. Inrich’d With New Words, Choice Phrases, and Apposite Proverbs; Digested Into a most Accurate Method; And Contrived For the Use both of English and Foreiners (London: Printed by Tho. Dawks, for Thomas Basset, 1677) [s.v. Arse, page unnumbered, column 2]:

ARSE, or the Fundament, le cul, le fondement.
The Arse-gut, le boyau culier.
The Arse-hole, le trou du cul.
Arse-smart, an herb, cul-rage.
Arse-wipe, un torche cul.
Arse-posse, culbute, culebute.
To give one an arse-posse, culbuter quècun.
Arsy-versy, à rebours, sans dessus dessous.

Pat Stacey used the noun arsewipe in its literal sense in Stacey’s Screen Shots, published in the Evening Herald (Dublin, County Dublin, Ireland) of Friday 9th February 2007 [It’s Friday! weekend entertainment guide, page 13, column 5]:

Best U-TURN
THE INSIDER
(Channel 4, 7.35pm)
Jane Moore, opinion columnist with arsewipe rag The Sun 1, explains why she has changed her mind about the negative influence of the media on young women when it comes to body-image. Apparently, Moore’s conversion came about after she witnessed the effect it has had on her teenage daughter and her friends, who aspire to an unhealthily skinny ‘ideal’. I wonder if Moore’s new-found zeal will extend to her persuading The Sun’s editor to remove the pictures of topless teenage tottie from Page 3 2?

1 The Sun (London, England) is the red top (downmarket tabloid newspaper) par excellence.
2 A pin-up picture of a topless or nude young woman used to appear daily on page three of The Sun.

2-: Figurative sense:

In the following two letters, the English poet, novelist and librarian Philip Arthur Larkin (1922-1985) used the nouns arse and arsewipe to pun on the initials of R. S. Thomas, i.e., the Welsh poet and Anglican priest Ronald Stuart Thomas (1913-2000)—letters published in Selected Letters of Philip Larkin 1940—1985 (New York City: Farrar Straus Giroux, 1993), edited by Anthony Thwaite:

– From a letter to Robert Conquest 3, dated Hull, Yorkshire, 26th April 1956 [page 260]:

What d’you think of Liz J. 4 getting 400 nicker to go and get stuffed in Wopland? I wasn’t in for it, o’ course. Good old George. And Arse Thomas getting the Heinemann 5. Oo the bible-punching old bastard.

3 Robert Conquest (1917-2015) was a British-born U.S. historian, poet and novelist.
4 The English poet Elizabeth Jennings (1926-2001) had been given the Somerset Maugham Award for foreign travel. The noun nicker is slang for pound sterling. Wopland is a derogatory appellation for Italy.
5 R. S. Thomas had been given the W. H. Heinemann Award, a literary prize.

– From a letter to Robert Conquest, dated Hull, Yorkshire, 20th February 1962 [page 341]:

Our friend Arsewipe Thomas suddenly was led into my room one afternoon last week, and stood there without moving or speaking: he seems pretty hard going. Not noticeably Welsh, which is one comfort.

The usual American-English form is now asswipe. The following, for example, is from Never mind the b******s… swearing is good for you, by Brian Breacom, published in The Herald (Glasgow, Lanarkshire, Scotland) of Thursday 16th January 2020 [page 14, column 6]:

Personally, I like the Irish word “bollox”, suggesting a wasteful miscreant.
I also liked the American kids I looked after on summer camp who abused each other with “Skidmark” or “Asswipe,” delightfully suggesting faeces connection.

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