[A humble request: If you can, please donate to help me carry on tracing word histories. Thank you.]
The colloquial Australian-English noun two-bob watch is used of something that is cheap and common.
In this noun:
– the noun bob designates a shilling, i.e., a former monetary unit equal to one twentieth of a pound or twelve pence.—Cf. the colloquial British-English phrase bob-a-job;
– the noun watch designates a small timepiece.
The following text illustrates the fact that the noun two-bob watch originally designated a cheap and common watch—it is from the column Metropolitan Mems, by ‘Markwell’, published in The Albury Banner, and Wodonga Express (Albury, New South Wales, Australia) of Friday 15th April 1910 [page 30, column 2]:
Those who go down to the sea in ships will not be pleased to learn of the new danger which wrecked the fine mail steamer Pericles. […] I had two friends on board the Pericles Mr. and Mrs. M‘Millan. Mr. M‘Millan […] tells us he took three good hats on board with him, but he must now go home bareheaded. […] Mr. M‘Millan also had two watches when he started on this trip for London. One of these, a common or every-day-sort-of-two-bob watch is still with him, ticking in good style, but the other, a very valuable timepiece, is lying on the ocean bed, if it hasn’t been swallowed by a shark that wishes to be punctual at meals.
In the above-quoted text, the noun two-bob watch designates a cheap and common watch that is also reliable (cf. the use of “ticking in good style”). But the noun two-bob watch is also used, oppositely, to designate an unreliable watch—as in the following from an advertisement for Winchester flashlights, published in The Townsville Daily Bulletin (Townsville, Queensland, Australia) of Friday 14th October 1938 [page 4, column 1]:
There are times when a person’s safety rests with his flashlight and its dependability. […] That is why your choice should be Winchester. There are cheaper flashlights of course […]. The flashlight for which you pay two shillings is worth two shillings at the most and not one penny more than two shillings, because nobody gives you more than you pay for. You wouldn’t risk your precious time with a two-bob watch so why risk your safety with a cheap flashlight.
The noun two-bob watch, therefore, is used:
– in the phrase as reliable as a two-bob watch, referring to unreliability—cf., below, quotations 4 & 5;
– but also in the phrase (to run) like a two-bob watch, referring to a motorcar that runs well—cf. below, quotations 2 & 7.
The noun two-bob watch is also used in the following phrases:
– as silly (or as mad) as a two-bob watch—cf., below, quotations 1, 6 & 9;
– as erratic as a two-bob watch—cf., below, quotations 3 & 11;
– as cheap as a two-bob watch—cf., below, quotation 10;
– as funny as (or funnier than) a two-bob watch—cf., below, quotations 8 & 12.
These are, in chronological order, the earliest occurrences that I have found of phrases including the noun two-bob watch:
1-: From the column Anthology of Anecdote, published in Smith’s Weekly (Sydney, New South Wales, Australia) of Saturday 1st April 1922 [page 17, column 6]:
My friend and I were walking along the bank of the Wollondilly River at the rear of the Kenmore Mental Hospital, N.S.W. A swim was suggested, although it was a chilly morning, and we were just disrobing when we heard murmuring voices at the rear. A couple of “inmates” were looking over the fence. My companion walked to the water-side to dive in, when the patient exclaimed to his friend, “Blimey, he’s as silly as a two-bob watch.”—“Coo-ee S.”
2-: From From Kapunda to Mildura by Motor. By the Editor. II., published in The Kapunda Herald (Kapunda, South Australia, Australia) of Friday 1st February 1929 [page 4, column 4]:
After leaving the border gate, the road runs in a straight line for many miles (something like 50 I believe), and with the track (mostly dirt) in good order and the car running “like a two-bob watch” (that is how our driver described it, but to me if a two-bob watch ran as smoothly as our car was at that time it would be worth considerably more than a florin) we had visions of a splendid run to Mildura.
3-: From the column Town Topics, published in The Alert (Maryborough, Queensland, Australia) of Friday 27th October 1933 [page 7, column 1]:
The weather in Innisfail is as erratic as a two-bob watch, and changes as swiftly as the whims of a flapper.
4 & 5-: From the column Gleanings, by ‘Gleaner’, published in the Victor Harbour Times (Victor Harbor, South Australia, Australia):
4-: Of Friday 20th April 1934 [page 264, column 5]:
A LOCAL FAILING.
Rather a crude saying, no doubt is the old phrase, “as reliable as a two-bob watch,” but have you ever stopped to think how admirably it fits a large proportion of Victor Harbour’s populace. […] It is a great pity that members of various organisations—particularly sporting bodies, did not pay a little more attention to the reminder I have often read on agricultural bureau correspondence, “Membership carries responsibility as well as privilege”—or words to that effect. How difficult it is for a sporting team to take the field and to find that one of their number is absent—and has not bothered to advise any responsible person of his inability to play. […] Not only in sporting bodies is this noticed, but in various other societies. If folk would only realise the inconvenience it causes others when they fail to meet their moral obligations in organisations of which they chance to be members, this vice (if it may be termed so) would no doubt be minimised.
5-: Of Friday 10th May 1935 [page 481, column 5]:
FOOTBALL.
[…] What has happened to football in this fair town of ours? According to dame rumour the club was absolutely “scratching” to raise an 18 in its first game of the season last week […]. I learnt that this present state of affairs is probably due to some extent to the fact that enthusiastic young players of past years received so little encouragement that they turned their attentions to other forms of sport […].
[…] If young enthusiasts have been made a convenience of for the benefit of players who are as reliable as the proverbial “two-bob watch,” then is it any wonder that other sports have gained the support of so many former adherents of this time-proven game?
6-: From the column Here, There and Everywhere, by ‘Jonathan Swift’, published in The Sun News-Pictorial (Melbourne, Victoria, Australia) of Monday 8th July 1935 [page 7, column 1]:
Hushed Voices
After several visits to different football grounds during this season, I have come to the conclusion that those men who arouse the primitive instincts in their fellow creatures by battling for the possession of some wind imprisoned in a leather casing, are of some race apart.
This fact was brought home to me on Saturday when I stood watching the Melbourne-South Melbourne game at the holy of holies of Victorian sport.
Among the thousands of South Melbourne supporters few seemed courageous enough to raise their voices in the manner they usually do.
Fortunately there was one lone figure brave enough to cry aloud in this sanctum.
Watches and Poultry
Observations concerning the mentality of the players provided much more interest for spectators in the immediate vicinity than the game itself.
An impartial condemnation of the mental weaknesses of the various players was this barracker’s main line of attack.
During the afternoon he exclaimed that different players were as silly as:
A two-bob watch.
A wet hen.
Annie’s auntie.
A yard of pump water.
A weak cup of tea.
A rabbit.
A motherless foal.
7-: From Wet Concrete, a short story by Murray Tonkin, published in The Queenslander (Brisbane, Queensland, Australia) of Thursday 19th November 1936 [page 10, column 4]—Manning, a motor-racing driver, is about to start a race; “her” refers to his car; the person who says “Like a two bob watch, sir.” is the head-mechanic:
Manning throttled her down and listened.
“Like a two bob watch, sir.”
Manning nodded. He picked his casque from the seat.
8-: From Showtime Swindle, by ‘Alpha’, published in The Chronicle (Adelaide, South Australia, Australia) of Thursday 10th December 1936 [page 65, column 3]:
“Right you are, ladies and gentlemen,” agreed the man of mystery. “The first thing I want is some gentleman prepared to give me a watch. […]”
The man obviously had no confederates, for the onlooker who responded to this invitation was a local grazier of unimpeachable integrity, who advanced with a grin and handed over an object that was even funner [sic] than the proverbial two-bob watch, but nevertheless ticked.
“There is only one thing to do with a watch like this,” said the spruiker, “and watch me do it.”
Suiting the action to the word, he brought down his heavy mallet on to the watch and smashed it to fragments.
9-: From the column The Sporting Mirror, published in The Alert (Maryborough, Queensland, Australia) of Friday 11th December 1936 [page 12, column 3]—the following is about two boxers, Billy Papke and Stanley Ketchell:
Ketchell had his opponent as mad as a two-bob watch, and he was never much good as a fighter afterwards.
10-: From an account of the horse races that took place in Brisbane, Queensland, on Saturday 22nd May 1937, published in Truth (Brisbane, Queensland, Australia) of Sunday 23rd May 1937 [page 2, column 7]:
The lean and lanky Brinkburn made the field of middle-distance horses look as cheap as two-bob watches.
11-: From the column Punters’ Pie, by ‘Racegoer’, published in The Alert (Maryborough, Queensland, Australia) of Friday 1st October 1937 [page 2, column 4]:
Spear Prince is becoming as erratic as a two-bob watch, and drifts from last to first and first to last with only a week’s interval.
12-: From an account of the event that took place at Glenelg, Adelaide, to celebrate South Australia’s 101st birthday and to honour the State’s pioneers, published in The News (Adelaide, South Australia, Australia) of Tuesday 28th December 1937 [page 1, column 2]:
It was essentially the old colonists’ day, and Mrs. B. J. Curry, of Torrensville, was again the gayest of the pioneers.
Mrs. Curry, who had been up since 6.30, arrived as fresh as a daisy soon after 10 a.m. She was supported on each side by two police officers, who grinned at her witty remarks and sallies.
“Don’t you lads lock me up,” she said to them. “My word,” she added, “when I have finished my lunch I will be ready to jump over a nine-bar gate.”
“She is as funny as a two-bob watch,” said Constable Broad, who helped to escort her.
word histories 